I have been working hard the last few months to prioritize my writing life. I’ve set goals and made a social media publishing schedule. I’ve been engaging with other writers and reaching out in my local community.
This is not my natural inclination, as I like to sit at home, alone, and read/write books. I like to hike and backpack… alone. Maybe with my husband and kids, since they are my favorite people. I like to knit — you guessed it — alone. Poster child introvert.
Not only is social engagement exhausting, but I have things to think about. Books to read. Podcasts to listen to. Ferns to hunt and identify. (The other day I found a Brittle Bladder fern!! So exciting.)
But social depletion is not the topic of this post. It deserves its own consideration, yes, but I have another worry. While I was taking pictures of Wake Robins and knitting my littlest a hat, a question popped up:
What if I run out of stories?
I just finished a smaller project (my for-fun WIP, more on that coming soon). I sent a BIG project off to my editor. I am chipping away at Vanguard, but it’s not coming easily. Creativity is feeling sluggish lately.
Objectively, I know why: I’ve done a lot. I’ve been writing and creating content and living life. Of course I will have more productive periods and times when I sit and read Northanger Abbey for the 50th time.
Yet, still the fear lingers. It bounces around when I am typing slow, or when I can’t think of a good character name, or my scene dribbles away into nothingness. I read other people’s book and they are so amazing and complex and better than mine. Obviously I’m a hack and lame and everything is pointless.
As Charles Darwin once wrote, “I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything.”
Truer words have never been written, my friend.
I am worried that one day I will go to the well of my creativity and the bucket will plop into the mud. There will be nothing to write, nothing to create. My thoughts will become white noise for the rest of eternity.
Maybe I should take comfort in my own dramatics. Surely such hyperbole bodes well for my continued ability to imagine.
In the midst of these sulks, I was rifling through my writing notebooks, looking for a scribble I know I wrote, but can’t remember where, and I came across a brainstorming session I did last year with my writing coach:
This is only 2 pages out of 4. Obviously, there are stories here. Some are less developed than others. Some are just premises. There are missing parts and questions, but the ideas are there.
It is easy to finish a bigger project or be working on a series and get stuck in a rut. I wrote a sci-fi book and now I need to write only my sci-fi books. Publish or perish! Quick content turnaround!! Followers and Likes!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
I see literary giants and their 1 or 2 hugely influential works. I see modern writers publishing a new book every 3 months and making TikToks and book tours and and and. I ricochet between the 2 and feel overwhelmed by the perceived pressure to chuck my creative self into the world as fast as possible.
Taking a step back and taking a breath, literally and metaphorically, helped. I am not big into affirmations, but I can tell myself truths to reset my thinking:
I have just finished a big project, so of course my brain is tired.
Traditionally published authors often take 2-3 years between books. There is no need to panic publish as an Indie author.
If my interest is in another story right now, it’s okay. Lean into it. It’s still creating, still producing.
If I want to go hike in the mountains this weekend instead of holing up in my office, then do that.
Maybe it is your destiny to write a single, profound, amazing book that will be dissected in literature classes for the next hundred years. Maybe you have a YA series ready to burst forth, complete with spin-offs and fanart. Maybe you write all genres and change pennames as often as you change your socks.
Whatever your style, find and embrace it. Your writing style, your process, even the way you research your stories, will be individual to you. Just the knowing of it will help you recognize the productive times and the resting times.
And stories will always come. For what are stories, but a way to explain our lived experience? Our dreams and wishes and conflict? Hard take: no one is ever going to run out of worry and disappointment and frustration. Sorry. But there will also always be laughter and joy and discovery.
And so, there will always be stories.
PS: this is a wake robin:
My first book, Archer 887, is a 2022 Indies Today Awards Contest Finalist, and is on sale now through online book retailers. Pick up a copy, leave a review, and let me know what you think!
Subscribe to get book reviews, writing advice, short stories, and behind the scenes peeks.
Installments from my full-length fantasy novel, The Lost Hero, post each Saturday, for paid subscribers only. I am also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
(I also write about my work as an RN on my Substack: This Is My Nurse Face. Crazy stories, advice, and vents about inpatient nursing.)
Thanks for reading! Anna