Don't Dilute Yourself

Since the start of the new year, I’ve been hyping myself up. Publishing a book felt a little surreal (as I discuss on The Secret Library Podcast) and it is easy to downplay my achievements. It feels super awkward to come straight out and tell people: “Hi, I’m Anna. I am mom, a nurse, and a published author.”

Heebie-jeebies, right? How cringe.

But… I am a published author! I worked hard on that thing, and I continue to work hard on my projects. I even have a google calendar to make time for writing amidst all the tasks and to-dos of regular life:

To battle this creative timidity, I’ve been listening and reading books on cultivating confidence in one’s creative work. I am a huge fan of Danielle Krysa AKA The Jealous Curator. She has books and podcasts and videos on SkillShare. Defintely check her out. She’s freaking hilarious.

Another woman I follow is Helen Redfern. I found her videos on YouTube and they are comforting, gentle, and lovely to watch. She has a Substack now (The Red Fern) and I gladly pay my subscription to read her posts.

One post I was thinking about recently is her blog post The Fear of Being Misunderstood. She frequently talks about her own feelings of inadequacy and timidity in her creative life, and how she works to overcome these feelings.

I don’t know if it’s because my gender, my generation, or my social upbringing, but being ‘offensive’ is one of the worst social missteps. What if I offend someone with my writing? What if I’m unknowingly perpetuating stereotypes? What if someone is hurt because of the way I write, or the content of my work, or anything else I say or do?

Then practical Anna says, ‘So, what? That’s their problem.” She has no room for this wimpy attitude and knows well enough someone somewhere will be offended by everything I do.

But… I want there to be a balance between the two. Not callous, but not wilting. Not uncaring, but not timid.

I want to write culturally sensitive stories, yet also tell truths as I lived them. To do that, I need to consider my choices, yes. But I don’t need to accept any criticism tossed my way.

Because, most often, this criticism is born of jealousy, spite, or malice. It;s not really about me and my work. It truly is their problem. And there is nothing I can do to change that.

Helen Redfern summed up this idea well: Don’t dilute yourself.

Don’t take out something only because you think someone will find it offensive. Don’t bend to try to please someone else, whether online or in person. And when those negative comments come in? Delete them.

Being authentic with your voice, your words, and your stories will always bring down some measure of judgement. But it will bring many more who genuinely love your work and want to support you.

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Read my post about a quasi-negative review here. Venting into the void is always a soothing.

Danielle Krysa is seriously amazing. Please go check her out!

Helen Redfern is super nice. Subscribe to her Substack here.

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Thanks for reading!

You can buy my book, Archer 887, which was a 2022 Indies Today Awards Contest Finalist. Pick up a copy, leave a review, and let me know what you think!

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Thanks!

Anna

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